I am so very delighted to introduce to you as the very first of the new Defiant Femmes project, my wonderful colleague Sarah Moore. Sarah, self-identified Hard Femme and Queer Queen, is one of our amazing Comms people at Stonewall and also a fellow LGBTQ+ activist and intersectional feminist.
I think I started identifying with Femme when I started really understanding the complexities and the nuances of the queer world. I was trying to find out where I fit in. I was part of the community for a bit and being at event and feeling like I didn’t fit in. I didn’t fit in mainstream and heteronormative society, I felt like I didn’t fit in the queer world either. I think the way I want to look is very true to who I am but I felt a bit worried about it without the politics behind it. Because people would read me as straight and it would really really annoy me. I am not and I am very happy about that.
I felt so masculine my whole life and I was stuck in this limbo of being like: I like all these things, I really love constructing identity, using makeup and using clothing and jewellery and music and having my hair a certain way and all these types of things but I felt so masculine of centre that I couldn’t do that. I was just stuck in this tomboy aesthetic. The only person that is keeping me in this box is me. So freeing myself, allowing myself to play with makeup, that kind of thing. I feel powerful now because of it.
The main concerning thing for me is that people think that Femme is pink and fluffy and soft. Even though Femme is and can be all of those things, it is also hard and tough. It can be aggressive and it can be radical. That isn’t a bad thing. I think people’s minds need to open up to what Femme is and can be. Why is pink not hardcore? I can wear what I want, do what I want, say what I want with the confidence that I am a fully realised person with an identity that I really care about. Finding this pocket of the queer world made me feel comfortable and safe. It let ultimately just to positive things for me. My femme identity is probably the most powerful part of my queer identity.
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