Lovely defiants, meet the fantastic organisational mastermind, not-so-secret-art geek, mental heath advocate and soon-to-be-phd-candidate Rhe! Even though I have the privilege to know her personally, I was blown away by the chance to finally chat with her about Femme identities. From Punk to Femme or maybe the Punk within the Femme.
When I was younger I went through constantly challenging how I should dress and how I should be cutting my hair and feeling like you never really fit. I studied dance and that was hyper stylised and feminine and I always felt really strange in that. I was always fighting against something because I couldn’t figure out where I wanted to stop.
Looking punk was my thing but it never was quite enough but it was challenging. It was the anarchy that I was going for. I don’t want to wear my hair on pigtails. It was me fighting against an idea of how I should be growing up and what I should be doing and where I should be going. And that continued.
I bumped into many walls and it would have been easier to go another way and I think that was something I came to that integrally the Femme was this idea of I can be strong, I can be soft, I can be vulnerable, I can be terrifying, I can be all those things and that can fluctuate. And sometimes this can all fall apart. There are risks with that but there are rewards as well.
I think Femme is quite a political statement in my head. I feel like I stood on a battle line, challenging what you think I should be or who I should be. It allows me to play with who I am. Somedays I do feel like cutting my hair very short and not wearing any make up and then one day I want to be hyper feminine and that play of gender that you can move from. I identify as bi but the word was always back and forth for me.
I haven’t really settled. It is the one thing were I am like, you know, if it describes me enough that is ok. I like messing around with it and playing around with who I am and how I present, and that’s ok. Just having the term “it’s ok” is being the place were I finally settled. Themore you intersect how your identity feels to you the more interceptions there are on that crossroad, the more complex it becomes and people maybe feel threatened by it or don’t understand it. It is ok to be that complex. When you understand that your identity can be a political act that can be extremely powerful.
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