Let’s pretend you wake up and you can’t grasp the absurdity you are confronted with. The moment when you feel, yet again, that you are caught in a Kafka-novel and you have this bizarre feeling, where your brain is clearly too overwhelmed to formulate a coherent emotional response. There is a hint of resignation, a thought of complete non-surprise, mixed together with a great sadness and the lingering sensation of exhaustion. The deja-vu sensation kicks in…a loud man, with little content, but a all-wining simplified rhetoric of hate…

I don’t live in that country, it is not my nationality, my ties are manifested in form of family and friends, yet I am deeply taken by what has happened. I read a lot on social media that people should get over it, that there are dozens of problematic figures of power in the world, that we should get together and revolt or put the head in the sand for the next 4 years (minimum). Was the alternative great – I think we don’t have to answer that question, it is superfluous. Yet, the fear and concern that you feel at this very moment if you are not a white straight man, especially for us queer and POC folks is all consuming. Of course, we will come closer together, of course we will continue to do our best to fight again oppression, but I think most of us today, want to lie in bed and cry and be cuddled and fall asleep and wake up to a different result. Some people told me maybe it will not be that bad. I think many don’t realise that the problem is not this man, but the people that voted for him. It amplifies that we still live in societies that are devastatingly racist, misogynist and oppressive. How can you vote for someone that preaches hate against so many of us? The hate has always been there, but it is saddening how little it takes for people to start screaming it from the rooftops again. The lack of compassion and understanding, the internalised oppression of so many, the feeling you walk among people that loathe your existence…can we please acknowledge how very traumatising this is for many of us…it is just too much.

I am scared for us, I am scared for my Q/POC friends and family over in the US.

I am tired and I want a hug, a long one. I want to live on a small island where we can build a community that is supportive, kind and allows us to heal and grow. Yes, life goes on and we will come together in our defiance and be strong and create change, but let’s give each other also sometime to be disheartened and sad and seeking refuge in utopia.

Whatever works for you and brings you through today, I am by your side…

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